Encouraging Critical Thinking with Open Conversations at Home
Hey everyone, welcome back to our little corner of the web! Sigal here, along with Tal, diving back into our ongoing chat about the nitty-gritty of raising two amazing (now teenage…) daughters. Today, let’s talk about something that’s a big deal in our house: fostering critical thinking through open, honest conversations.
The Magic of Talking It Out
In our family, a simple chat can be a powerful tool. It’s not just about swapping stories or planning the week ahead—it’s about weaving a tapestry of understanding and insight. By encouraging our girls to discuss various topics openly, they’ve learned to look at situations from different angles and think on their feet.
Walking the Talk
One of the most effective ways we foster this environment is by leading by example. As parents, we make it a point to be open about our own experiences, including our mistakes. We share stories of times when things didn’t go as planned, discussing what we learned and how we could have approached things differently. This openness not only humanizes us to our daughters but also teaches them that it’s okay to make mistakes and, more importantly, to learn from them.
For instance, I (Sigal) recently shared with the girls a mistake I made at work that cost the team a valuable contract. I explained the oversight and my approach to resolving the issue with my team. I also shared with them how I handled the fallout and what it taught me about managing stress and expectations. It was a great way for the girls to see that screw-ups happen to everyone and it’s the recovery that counts. Being vulnerable not only showed them that mistakes happen at every age and stage but also how they can be handled with integrity and responsibility.
Few years ago, I reviewed my young daughter’s homework (when she was in 3rd grade). I noticed she was trying to hide a piece of paper that was in her folder. When I asked her about it she started crying, saying that her teacher gave her a note because she talked in class, but it was her friend who talked, not her.
It went like this: – Me: “Did you tellI the teacher it wasn’t you talking?”
– Daughter: “Yes, but she didn’t believe me and asked me to write that I’m sorry for talking”. – Me: “But you didn’t talk, did you?”
– Daughter (crying even lauder): “No, I did not!” – Me: “Then you should not apologize for something you didn’t do”.
– Daughter: “What do you mean?” – Me: “Write that you did not talk, therefore there is nothing to apologize for”.
– Daughter (stopped crying, now puzzled): “Really??” – Me: “Yes. I believe you, and if the teacher thinks otherwise, I will back you up”.
This simple, but powerful demonstration of trust went such a long way…
Saying Sorry Matters
Another vital aspect of our discussions is the willingness to apologize when necessary. This doesn’t diminish our authority; rather, it reinforces our credibility and teaches respect and accountability. Like that time I snapped over a spilled coffee—silly, right? But saying sorry and discussing why it happened (hello, bad day at work!) showed them that respect goes both ways, regardless of age.
Tips for Getting Everyone Talking
Create a Safe Space
Make sure everyone in the family feels secure enough to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of ridicule or punishment. This might mean setting rules like “no interrupting” and “no laughing at someone’s opinion.” Sometimes, we use a “talking stick” — whoever holds it has the floor, ensuring everyone gets a chance to speak without interruption.
Dive Deeper with Open-Ended Questions
We always encourage our daughters to think more deeply by posing questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Instead of asking, “Did you like your day at school?” ask, “What was something challenging you faced today and how did you deal with it?” This invites them to reflect and articulate their thoughts in a more detailed manner. (It becomes more challenging when they are teenagers, and instead of talking they mumble, or make any other unclear sound. Building such foundation from a young age helps creating this healthy dialogue.
Encourage Friendly Debates
We love a good family debate! We’ll pick a fun and light topic to start, something as simple as “Should pets be allowed in school?” Divide the family into two sides, even if someone doesn’t necessarily agree with their side’s stance. This teaches them to understand and articulate different viewpoints, fostering empathy and better argumentation skills. The flip side – with time, they learn to argue better than you…
The Bigger Picture
All these chats and debates aren’t just for fun—Through these practices, we’ve seen our daughters grow into thoughtful individuals who can navigate complex situations with ease and confidence. They’re not just prepared to face the world as it is but are also equipped to question and improve it.
We’re excited to keep sharing our journey and the tools we’ve found helpful. Stick around for more stories and tips, and let’s keep building a community of thoughtful leaders and compassionate citizens together. Here’s to more learning, growing, and thinking critically!