The Importance of Family Meetings
Welcome back to Sital Parenting with Sigal and Tal! Today, we’re introducing a vital tool that has transformed our family dynamics: the family meeting. This structured gathering isn’t just about addressing issues—it’s a cornerstone for nurturing trust, respect, and open communication.
What is a Family Meeting?
A family meeting is a scheduled time where all family members come together to discuss various topics, from daily logistics to more significant issues like handling disagreements or planning family vacations. It’s a democratic space where each person, regardless of age, has a voice.
Benefits of Family Meetings
Enhanced Communication: Regular meetings open lines of communication, allowing family members to express feelings and thoughts in a supportive environment.
Problem Solving: They provide a platform for brainstorming solutions to common problems, teaching children valuable conflict-resolution skills.
Strengthening Bonds: Spending dedicated time together strengthens relationships and builds a sense of family unity and purpose.
How to Conduct a Family Meeting
- Schedule Regularly: Set a regular time each week that suits everyone, ensuring all family members can attend without distractions. Important tip – choose a time where everyone is available, not too busy and has enough energy. We decided to run our family meetings on Sunday 4pm, where we usually don’t have any plans scheduled.Create an Agenda: Have a loose agenda to guide the discussion but be flexible. Allow any member to add topics they want to discuss. The following structure worked best for us: – Opening: Each family member compliments others by sharing one good thing they experienced about each of the other family members. This could be like “I really enjoyed walking Rex (our dog) with mom the other day. It was fund how we told jokes and laughed”. This helps setting a positive tone to the meeting.
– Next week’s calendar/activities: this is where all the family plans next week’ schedule (like who picks up the kids from their piano lesson? Who can walk Rex on Tuesday when both mom and dad need to stay late at the office?) – Topics to Discuss: open the floor for everyone to suggest topics they would like to discuss. Suggest thinking about the topics before the meeting, so no one is put on the spot.
– Fun activities for this week: What will we do this next weekend? Favorite restaurant to visit?Encourage Participation: Use a “talking piece” — an object that grants the holder the right to speak without interruption, ensuring everyone gets their turn. We noticed that it helps asking the kids to spend 5 minutes prior to the meeting for preparation, especially for the young ones.Additional Rules: We added these two additional rules, to make these meetings even better: – No phones at the table during these meetings. The only time mom pulls up the phone is when discussing next week’s calendar.
– Every week someone else runs these meetings. This gives the kids an opportunity to successfully run meetings, where others listen and followed their guidance.
Examples from Our Family Meetings
In one of our recent meetings, our young daughter raised a concern about balancing homework and her hobbies. We used this opportunity to discuss time management and collectively brainstormed a new schedule. This not only solved her problem but also made her feel valued and heard.
In another family meeting, our older daughter asked to discuss their allowance and said that her $8 weekly allowance (which she’s been receiving for the last 2 years), is not enough, because everything is so expensive now (“even at the Dollar Tree everything is $1.25 now…). We discussed that together and decided to increase her allowance to $10 and her younger sister’s to $8 (BTW, we used this opportunity to do some math exercise and asked her to come up with the raise amount. She suggested that, since the Dollar Tree raised their price in 25%, she would like to have the same. We agreed. Win-Win).
Family meetings have been a game-changer for us, bringing us closer and making our home a hub of mutual respect and understanding. Try integrating this practice into your family life and watch how it transforms your relationships and home atmosphere. Happy meeting!